cross·road
[kraws-rohd, kros-]
noun
1. a road that crosses another road, or one that runs transversely to main roads
2. a by-road
3. Often, crossroads ( used with a singular or plural verb )
a. the place where roads intersect
b. a point at which a vital decision must be made
c. a main center of activity
Related Words: hamlet, critical point, juncture
A long time ago a friend of mine shared a quote with me about mothers "at the crossroads." I've looked all over the Internet this morning and just can't seem to find the quote that I remember. But I did find this:
“First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are coming or going—when they leave and return from school—when they leave and return from dates—when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen.”
and this, from President Harold B. Lee--
"Mothers, stay at the crossroads of the home. Some time ago, I was attending a quarterly stake conference. … I said to the president of the stake, … “Have you some mother here, an older mother, who had a large family and had the joy of seeing every one of her family married in the temple?” He looked out over the audience and he said, “Well, there is Sister (I shall call her Sister Jones), she has had a family of eleven, and they all have been married in the temple." As this lovely white-haired mother stood beside me at the microphone, I said, “Would you take a lesson out of your book and tell us, what have you done to reach this most marvelous achievement?” And she replied, … “I might give you two suggestions. In the first place, when our family was growing up, I always was there at the crossroads of the home, when my children were coming to or going from the home. And second: whatever we did we did together as a family. We played together, we prayed together, we worked together, we did everything together. I guess that’s all I can think of.” I said to her, “Now you have preached two great sermons.”
Keep the mother of your home at the “crossroads” of the home. There is a great danger today of homes breaking down because of allurements to entice mothers to neglect their being at home as the family members are coming to or going from the home. Now, I recognize the necessity of some mothers being required to earn sustenance for their family. But even here, Relief Society presidents and bishops should take care lest they fail to lend all aid possible to the mother of small children and to help her, if possible, in planning the nature of work or the schedule of time. All this lies within the province of the Relief Society working with the home.
Today I feel that women are becoming victims of the speed of modern living. It is in building their motherly intuition and that marvelous closeness with their children that they are enabled to tune in upon the wavelengths of their children and to pick up the first signs of difficulty, of danger and distress, which if caught in time would save them from disaster."
And this poem, shared by President Thomas S. Monson:
He stood at the crossroads all alone,
The sunlight in his face.
He had no thought for the world unknown—
He was set for a manly race.
But the roads stretched east, and the roads stretched west,
And the lad knew not which road was best;
So he chose the road that led him down,
And he lost the race and victor’s crown.
He was caught at last in an angry snare
Because no one stood at the crossroads there
To show him the better road.
The sunlight in his face.
He had no thought for the world unknown—
He was set for a manly race.
But the roads stretched east, and the roads stretched west,
And the lad knew not which road was best;
So he chose the road that led him down,
And he lost the race and victor’s crown.
He was caught at last in an angry snare
Because no one stood at the crossroads there
To show him the better road.
Another day, at the self-same place,
A boy with high hopes stood.
He, too, was set for a manly race;
He, too, was seeking the things that were good;
But one was there who the roads did know,
And that one showed him which way to go.
So he turned from the road that would lead him down,
And he won the race and the victor’s crown.
He walks today the highway fair
Because one stood at the crossroads there
To show him the better way.
A boy with high hopes stood.
He, too, was set for a manly race;
He, too, was seeking the things that were good;
But one was there who the roads did know,
And that one showed him which way to go.
So he turned from the road that would lead him down,
And he won the race and the victor’s crown.
He walks today the highway fair
Because one stood at the crossroads there
To show him the better way.
[quoted from Central Christian Monitor, in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 66–67; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 48]
This theme of crossroads came flooding back to me during my sub job yesterday.
I was teaching a 5th grade class right next door to Wade's classroom, and all of the 4th and 5th graders were outside in the afternoon for a quick recess, called "choice P.E." of all things. I was standing in the middle of the blacktop, rotating around to keep an eye on a particularly energetic group of boys playing baseball . I'd move around in a circle to check on other kids, too.
After a few minutes my eyes rested on one of the wall ball courts, and there was Wade, faking that he was staring off into the distance, when really he was waiting for me to notice him. We both smiled and I walked over to him, touched him on the shoulder, and we laughed. After that Wade stuck by my side the last few minutes of the recess, and I cherished that moment with him. He wasn't embarrassed to be hanging with his mom (yet), and he was the perfect breath of fresh air that I needed to get through the last couple hours of the day.
That night the phone rang several times for call-ahead sub jobs. I'd already reached my self-appointed "quota" of jobs for the pay period, the point where I can take 'em or leave 'em and not feel guilty about it, especially if I've got other commitments or appointments the day of the job. After the second phone call, Wade looked up from his homework and said, "Don't take it, Mom." As gracious and wonderful as our kids are about my "sub job days," when they are as helpful and understanding as is humanly possible, the fact of the matter is that they like it better when I'm home to greet them at the crossroads. They can sense the difference, no matter how hard I try to amp up my game and make things as normal as possible.
Am I going to quit subbing? No. I enjoy it (most of the time), and it's a good outlet for me. The pay stinks, so that's not why I do it, ha-ha! Plus kids are fun!
Is this a "mothers should stay in the home" post? Not exactly. Have I offended anyone? I hope not. Women have different needs, different family situations, different circumstances, different opportunities, and different personalities. There isn't a cookie-cutter answer. There may come a day when things change for me and I give up subbing altogether or decide to work full-time.
What this post is, well, it's a personal reminder to myself, to pay attention, listen to promptings, and work with Jason and the Lord to do the very best we can for these two wonderful kids in our home. To recognize and be able to balance their needs with our own.
I feel really, really, really blessed, and I am very grateful to be a wife and a mom. It's not easy, but it is so worth it!
