50/50

8/31  Sunrise

This morning I was listening to a podcast about anxiety.

There were a couple points the woman made that I really appreciated.  First, if people are going to say things about you that you don't like, there's nothing wrong with that.  People can talk, but those who matter to you and really get you will know when things are true or false.

And second, she referred to that Book of Mormon scripture about opposition and said, knowing what we know about opposition and that it's a part of life, it's normal that about half of our human existence is going to be opposition and struggles and negative emotions that we have to deal with, and the other half is joy and happiness and treasured friendships and love.  It's our human existence, the total package.

50/50.  Like the beautiful sunrise I got to see as I was walking today, a little cloudy and gray, but also full of sunlight bursting through those clouds.

It was just some common sense that I really needed this morning, thinking about my own growing pains at school, the crazy flooding in Texas, friends in the hospital, and on and on.  These things aren't fun, they are difficult and trying.  And that's okay.

How grateful I am for the people and blessings in my life that make up that other 50%!

Off to Girls Camp

Rhiannon and I went off to Girls Camp the last week of July.  We both had a tremendously positive experience and were glad to be there.  We worked hard, made a lot of memories, and strengthened friendships and testimonies.

I loved Rhiannon's response:

"I came home last night from one of the best experiences of my life. It was my first time as a Youth Camp Leader (YCL). I was scared at first, but my cabin girls, fellow YCL's and all of the other amazing people there made it a total blast. I'm now a better leader, better friend, and a better sister. Just a better person in general.  I'm so grateful I had the opportunity and that my foot held up!!!!! I love you guys!!"

I've served in the Young Women organization for a gazillion years, and I always avoided Girls Camp like. the. plague.  I didn't want anything to do with girl drama and I didn't want to be away from home that long and have to make the long, hard drive up into the mountains to do it.

Well, after being up there that week, I realized that I'd missed out on some special experiences all those other years.   I'm so grateful for the courage, kindness, service, love, and miracles that I saw throughout the week, for the opportunity to rub shoulders with amazing adults and young women who made me smile and laugh and feel. the. love. every day that week.

Here was my list from the week:

"On my last morning of Girls Camp, three sweet girls approached me with big smiles on their faces and said, "Sister Cushing, we have a gift for you, for surviving your first time at camp." It was super funny and weirdly thoughtful at the same time, haha! 

I could probably write a book of all the experiences up at beautiful Camp Wilderness this week, but to give you an idea, here are just a few (of many) highlights:

I rappelled off a bridge.
I drove up and down a mountain.
I *tried to* sleep with mice in my cabin.
I went a week without showering, by choice. #babywipesRULE
I laughed and laughed and laughed, then laughed some more.
I walked a huge, crazy hard (for me) hike.
I saw countless examples of love, patience, service, and friendship.
I saw miracles and the "hand of God" often.
I ate REALLY good food.
I felt the Spirit and God's love for every person up there with me.

So grateful for the experience, for answered prayers, and for the many, many adults and girls who made it a wonderful week!"

Can't wait to go and do it again next year!

The Erskine Fire

Last Thursday, about 30 minutes from our home, a wildfire began in the mountains near Lake Isabella.  We can easily see the smoke above the mountains, and we smell it different times of the day, depending on where the wind is blowing.

After 4 days, the fire has damaged over 36,000 acres, with 150+ structures and homes burned to the ground, only 10% contained as of this morning.  1700 firemen and personnel have been battling it.

One thing about tragedy is that it opens people's hearts.  The day after the fire started, we went around the house and gathered a few supplies to take to a drop-off location--water bottles, hygiene items, clothes, a few gently used blankets, and unused pillows.  It was a token donation, and I hope we'll be able to do more.

The response from our little Ridgecrest community to help Lake Isabella (and other) residents has been astounding.  An account was set up at a local bank, volunteers have loaded several trailers of donations and driven up to the area on their own time and money, people have delivered chili and donuts to the fire personnel, animals have been relocated here in town and at the fairgrounds.  I spoke to a friend this morning who said she had family staying at a local hotel, and there were goats there!  Livestock and other animals have also been rescued from the wildfire.  These are just a few of the stories I've seen.

In the face of so much destruction, it has been very inspiring to see people gather together to help and make a difference!

The other miracle was this:  our good friend Howard Collins has a sister Cindy who lives up where the wildfire is going on, in Mt Mesa.  She works with firefighters and other personnel for her job, so when the fire started, she grabbed a few belongings from her home and spent the next two days working on the fire situation.  We were concerned for her and her home!  Yesterday Sandi sent me a text that Cindy had been able to check her home--"Cindy's house did not burn....thank you for the prayers.  She is busy working and helping others."

For an idea of the devastation, here are a few pictures that have been all over Facebook this weekend:

A fun "form letter"

A pretty fun letter arrived in the mail today from the president of the Houchin Community Blood Bank.  I donated blood, on purpose, for the first time in my life a few weeks ago, and it's something I plan to continue, especially when I get a letter that states I am a "very special universal blood donor" with my O- blood type!  "Please donate every 8 weeks!" the letter says.

Apparently my blood type is held by only 7% of the population, can be used by 100% of patients who need blood, and is the only type used for preemie babies and accident victims.  I've been living under a rock because I didn't know this information!

Sorta makes me feel guilty for not donating sooner, and makes me VERY grateful for those who donated blood to help me in my time of need when Rhiannon was born, since I can only get blood from another O-neg donor!

Makes you think!

Some of my memorable "gratitude" posts in November 2015

November 15:

"I'm thankful to live in this little desert community of Ridgecrest. Almost any negative that people say about this town is a positive to me, with the exception of seed bugs!

"It's so hot here!"--isn't it great! I don't like being cold!

"It's so isolated here! There's no shopping!"--c'mon, it's called Amazon Prime. And I probably spend less money anyways. And not having to deal with traffic on a daily basis is heaven!!!

"We don't get any snow."--um, that is a MAJOR positive for me, haha!

"The sound of jets all day drives me crazy!"--that's the sound of freedom!

"Don't get me started on the wind!"--it blows all of my leaves into nice, neat piles, ready to be swept up!

Attitude is everything, but I find Ridgecrest hard not to love. Grateful for that and for the wonderful people who live here and choose to make it work!"



November 17:

There is an awful lot of pain in the world right now. 99.9 % of the time I stick to what I know and what I'm doing in my own little world because the problems seem way too big and painful for one person like me to handle.

I had an experience today that helped me see another way, though. Long story short, last week I noticed a young man walking here in town early in the morning who looked very cold. I could NOT get him out of my mind. When I saw him again today, I pulled over, got out, and handed him a coat. I'd been waiting to see him again, haha! I fumbled in my words and spoke fast: "Hi! Um-you-looked-pretty-cold-last-week-so-I-got-something-for-you-If-you-don't-need-it-please-pass-it-on-to-someone-who-might. Bye!" He gave me a big smile and we waved at each other as I drove away. As I pulled away, all I could see was this young man's surprised and happy face. My heart was so big and I could feel God's love for him. I thought, "Even if he doesn't need this coat, he knew someone was aware of him and he can share the coat with someone else!" I quieted the other thoughts telling me that I was a creepy stalker and just cherished that feeling of doing good and feeling light, haha! smile emoticon
So, that was the lesson that I learned today. Whether we're talking Paris or Beirut or Syrian refugees or local people in our communities or a million other needs in this world, we can make a difference, one person at a time, one prompting at a time.

“God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other” --Spencer W Kimball


November 19:

I'm thankful for moments where time stops and I get a gentle reminder saying, "Remember this. Don't ever forget it." I get these reminders a lot, at random times. Maybe I'm having a "reading party" with Rhiannon where we're in the same room at the same time reading books. Or maybe I'll be on a great date with Jason, looking at the night sky filled with stars above us. Ya know, moments like that.

I had one yesterday when I was helping out at the middle school student store during lunches. I'd told Wade I was going to be there and encouraged him to come say hi to me, but I also "let him off the hook" and told him I'd understand if he forgot or had other things to do. Sometimes you need to tread carefully with almost-teenagers, haha!

Here's the great part--not only did Wade come say hi, but he used one of his hard-earned Ace cards to get out of class a few minutes early before lunch to get to the student store fast. He came busting in the door and made me feel like a million bucks. Then later he brought a bunch of his friends back with him to say hi, too.

It was a simple thing, but, boy, did it make me happy!

#prayersanswered

Jason was on the East Coast this week for work.  On Thursday night we were Face-timing on the phone, and Jason talked about his near-death experience that day, traveling between Maryland and D.C. and having to swerve into the shoulder to miss a head-on collision by about five feet, going 60 miles per hour.

The first thought that came into my head was the fact that we'd mentioned Jason in every. single. one. of. our. prayers. that day, asking God to watch over him while he was away and help him to know that we loved him and were thinking of him.  Morning prayer, lunch prayer, dinner prayer, etc.

Rhiannon smiled and said, "Hashtag prayers answered!"

We were very thankful that Jason was okay and safe, and grateful to know that Heavenly Father was mindful of our family!

LIFT

I have watched this Mormon Messages video about sixty million times since my mom mentioned it to me a few weeks ago.  I love it, I love it, I love it, and I tell everyone about it!

We're still here

We're still here.  Just super, super busy with last-month-of-school activities, group projects, basketball games, volunteering, youth conference, business travel, and getting the pool open and ready. I got to speak at stake conference, too!

A longer post will happen later.  For today, just two things:

First, a tender mercy.  Tuesday was so crazy.  After an already packed day, that afternoon I had to have the kids in two different places at the same time on opposite ends of town.  I knew I could figure it out, but I was so, so, so tired all of a sudden.  I rested my head on the table for just a moment to calm the crazy, and right at that moment the phone rang.  A friend was calling about carpooling to one of the kids' activities and it helped SO much!!!!  I realized I could ask for help (!) and asked another friend to help get Wade to and from--she helped me so much, too!  Such a tiny thing, but that kindness opened up the evening for me and gave me the strength and sanity I needed to get people where they needed to be and then steal an hour of precious prep time before my institute lesson that night.

Second, our family has been playing this together as much as possible lately, a card game called Dominion:

Uncle Brett introduced it to us last summer, and our friends the Littons brought their set over a few weeks ago and played with us.  We liked it so much that Jason bought it, along with an app for different game scenarios.  It is a T-O-N of fun.

A nice break in the middle of all the chaos! :)

Tender mercy on a dreary Monday

After such a heavenly Christmas break, that first Monday back was TOUGH for all of us.  I was so grumpy that Sunday because I didn't want our vacation to ever end, haha!

Thankfully, God knew I needed a boost that Monday morning.  After taking Rhiannon home from seminary, I looked out the kitchen window at the first rays of the sunrise.  It calmed my heart and helped me feel at peace--I needed it in a big way!

Dinner winner!

I've got a lot of catching up to do (Thanksgiving in Utah!  December fun!), but for now I'm posting the recipe that I used for dinner last night.  This family 'o mine does not like being experimented on, but they were all pleasantly surprised with this dish.  Hurray!

A request

I felt like crying after leaving Wade's class this morning.  Crying in a good way.

Most Fridays I come into his class for 30 minutes and help with reading groups.  Today I helped with Accelerated Math and had a good time.  One of the boys in my group said, "I want to be in your group next time!" Haha, I think he was just excited because I got to check their answers to make sure they were right BEFORE they submitted them on their Chromebooks.  Easy grade of 100. :)

Just as I was leaving, Wade's teacher, Mrs. Kyte, pulled me aside for a minute outside and asked me if I would do something for her.  There's a student in her class who is in foster care and has had a really good experience with the foster family he's been living with.  He will be going back to family members in a couple weeks, and Mrs. Kyte was very worried about him.  She asked me if I'd please add him to our church's prayer roll (in the temple).  I gave her a big hug and told her I'd be happy to do that!

I've put family and friends' names on the prayer rolls of our LDS temples in the past, especially for serious challenges and struggles, etc.  But that request from Mrs. Kyte just opened my heart wide and reminded me of the very real power found in prayer, faith, and temple service.

I went home and did what she asked as soon as I could find a number to the temple.  I'm grateful for this sweet teacher's faith and the reminder that God knows us and does hear our prayers!

A comedy of errors

Last Thursday was a comedy of multiple errors.  I spent over four hours making sugar cookies for Wade's Arrow of Light ceremony.  I've made sugar cookies countless times, but for some reason that day was one miss after another.  Here's how it went down:

Error #1:  I forgot the eggs in the first batch of dough and had to add them at the very end.

Error #2:  The second batch of dough was super sticky.  Thankfully I realized in time that I had used the half-cup measuring cup instead of the cup, so I knew how much flour had been left out.

Error #3:  Trying to glaze the cookies.  I had images in my head of the wonderful EASY glazed Christmas sugar cookies we made growing up, but instead of calling my mom for the glaze recipe, I found one online and went for it.  It was disgusting and slid right off the cookies.  40 cookies went straight to the trashcan.

Error #4:  Food coloring.  Luckily I had ONE can of vanilla frosting and had j.u.s.t. e.n.o.u.g.h to frost all 85 arrow cookies--this was a small miracle because I did NOT want to go to the store!  However, when I added my Wilton yellow food coloring gel, the color was attrocious and came out more a peachy color instead of yellow.  By that time I simply DID NOT CARE.

Final Fail:  I went to shake sprinkles on the cookies and didn't check one of the bottles.  Since it didn't have a shaker top, I ended up dumping half the bottle of sprinkles on one cookie.  Nice.  I was really happy I had that other bottle!

In the end, my little labor of love turned out fine.  I kept saying to myself, "I'm doing this for Wade.  I'm doing this for Wade.  I WILL make this happen for Wade."  The kids at the pack meeting loved them and they were all gone in 5 minutes.  Score!

A rickety ladder sure puts things in perspective

This morning Jason climbed a really tall ladder to tear down some unused, unsightly wires that have been hanging from the eaves of our second story forever.  I am so glad the wires are down--it was a small thing, but it had been bugging me for a while!  Our neighbor John across the street loaned the ladder and Jason made quick work of the project today.

I was terrified, watching him climb up and down while I spotted him at the ground.  I wonder what was going through his head!  On the last climb, I kept my mouth shut and said a silent prayer to God that He would help me keep the ladder steady and help Jason stay on the ladder.  I was trying not to think about him falling, and instead tried to imagine God holding the ladder with me.  At the very least, it helped me to focus on what I was doing and try not to bother Jason as he finished up the project.  I'm grateful for that answered prayer and for my super-hero hubby!!!!

On to the week's update:

Rhiannon enjoyed Rally Week at her high school--each day had a different dress-up theme and then on Friday there was a huge pep rally, recognizing all the different fall sports teams.  She said it was loud and fun!  Friday night she went to the football game with friends and had a good time with them.  Yesterday she and Wade ran a marathon of errands with me.  As we were leaving the Stater Bros. grocery store, this store employee--a really cute, sharp-looking boy--was putting away carts and gave Rhiannon the biggest smile.  She smiled right back.  It was sort of an out-of-body experience for me as a mom, watching that happen, knowing that she would be walking on Cloud 9 after that.  We laughed and laughed and laughed!  Still makes me smile thinking about that, and brings back some funny teenage memories of my own!  It was a long, tiring week for Rhiannon that ended on some high notes.

Last night she joined me at our neighbor Kristin's home to watch the Church's General Women's broadcast and eat yummy food.  Kristin had invited several moms and their daughters over--it was a lot of fun and the food was delicious!  Everything from pumpkin bisque to homemade bread to salted caramel dessert bars.  TASTY!

Wade finished up his Athlete badge at Webelos on Thursday night which was a big deal because we hadn't done too well preparing him for that. Somehow he pulled it off--hurray!  On Friday he started in on his vice-president job and helped out at his school's Super Stars assemblies.  His teacher chose him as one of her two Students of the Month, AND he got the top Accelerated Math spot for the grading period with 75 objectives covered (this was pretty amazing--the next highest in his grade was half that amount!).  Yesterday he went to two birthday parties, to his teacher's son's bounce-house birthday party, and then to a movie with his buddy Nick in the evening.  What a life this boy leads--it's fun to see him in his element.  The big thing for him this coming week is his Arrow of Light ceremony on Thursday!

I subbed two days this week, for first graders on Thursday and Wade's fifth-grade class on Friday.  The days went by quickly and the kids were good.  The first graders were very loveable, asking for hugs and telling me they loved me, haha!  Most of the fifth graders knew me already and looked forward to the game we play at the end of a good day--they also enjoyed comparing their height to mine, knowing that many will be taller than me by the end of the year. :)

We had more construction workers here yesterday working on some concrete and brick work in the backyard, and we'll be getting the three outside gates replaced.  I am so happy about this!  The next project will be figuring out what in the world to do with our front yard landscaping now that we've turned the water system off.

The other very important thing to report is that we've had some cooler weather this weekend and it is GORGEOUS outside!  We haven't seen the end of temps in the 90's, but this break from the heat has been very, very welcome!

September has gone by so quickly!

Thoughtful people make the world go 'round

Yesterday some thoughtful people made me very happy.

One friend came by in the morning with some divine cookies, STILL WARM, and visited with me for a bit.  She wanted to thank me for pointing out an article in the January 2014 Ensign called "The Healing Power of Grief" to another friend, who quickly called her and told her about it.  My friend's visit was unexpected--I hadn't showered and had just come inside from washing windows, I was in my old red sweatshirt, purple leggings and brown shorts (I know, I know, tacky!)--but, boy, was her visit wonderful!  We had a very real conversation, beyond those "How are you?" ones.  My friend had been gone for a few months taking care of her sister, who died after a battle of cancer just a few weeks ago.  It meant a lot to me that she would take that time to stop by, especially when she's dealing with her own sadness and grief.

Shortly after that friend left, I got a call from Wade's school asking me to please, please come in and sub for a teacher who'd gone home sick in the morning.  I'm thankful for thoughtful friends who were willing to change plans and pick up Rhiannon for me from school, especially since it was my turn to carpool that day!

Then there was my handsome, hard-working hubby, Jason, who kindly drove Rhiannon and her friend down and back to the stake center for a dance activity.  I was at Cub Scouts with Wade, and it helped a lot to have Jason do that.  It's the little things that mean a lot!

Then another friend called during the day and invited me to join her next Friday for a temple trip.  She has to go down to LA anyways to pick up a friend from the airport, but she figured she'd carve some time out to do a temple session, too.  She remembered me mentioning to her that I had a goal to attend the temple more this year, and so she called me up to see if I'd like to go with her.  I really appreciated that!

Then there was our daughter Rhiannon who sent me upbeat texts, got dinner started while I was driving Wade to flag football, and just all-around makes me happy with the sunlight she spreads around her!

Then there was Wade, who put the icing on a busy, happy day when he said he wished that our Webelos den meeting had been longer last night!  Cool!

So, cheers to thoughtful people who make my life easier, brighter, and happier!  Happy Friday!

A gift for a special teacher

Earlier this morning I shared something that happened to me yesterday involving popcorn seasoning and feeling Heavenly Father's love for me.  Yep, the two are related.

Well, today that "tender mercy" magic happened again. 

At Wade's school this year I'm doing something new and helping with the Battle of the Books program.  My friend Becky and I meet with about 25 4th and 5th graders every Wednesday at lunch and prepare them for a book competition coming in the spring.  The kids are there voluntarily, missing out on recess time to be with us.  It's been a lot of fun for me so far, and challenging. 

Right now we're doing little "book talks," where we preview each of the 30 books on the list and try to psych the kids up to read them.  Today I decided to get a jump on next week's book and get organized for it.  It's Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan, a great book!

Thanks to Google Search, I came across this:

 

The man on the left is Steven Kellogg, a fantastic illustrator, and the woman is Patricia MacLachlan.   The man on the right helped design the book.

 

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Steven Kellogg's children's books.

 

I really like Patricia MacLachlan's Sarah, Plain and Tall.

 

Steven lived in the Sandy Hook village in Newtown, Connecticut for 35 years and was very, very sad about the school shooting that happened in December 2012.  He called up his friend Patricia and asked her to make a book with him.  Their collaboration, Snowflakes Fall, came out this year on October 29th. 

 

You can bet that my book talk on Sarah, Plain and Tall will mostly be about two friends coming together to heal their own pain and help others do the same.  Amazon.com shares a little more; that the publisher of the book, Random House, donated to the Sandy Hook School Support Fund and also gave 25,000 books to the national literacy organization First Book, in honor of Sandy Hook children.

 

Finding out about this book was a tender mercy. 

 

Realizing that I'd just stumbled on the perfect book for Wade's special teacher for Christmas was another!

 

Merry Christmas!


Post Script:  5 days later...today (Monday) Wade's teacher thanked us for the book.  I'd slipped it in her teacher box in the office on Friday.  She said that day she'd gotten chewed out by another parent over a small thing, and she was feeling low.  She went to her box at the end of the day and found the gift, at just the right moment.  The book was perfect, our letter to her was perfect, and she was very appreciative.  AWESOME!!!!!!!!

 

 

Little things

Yesterday I was driving around town between carpool trips like a crazy person.

WalMart.  Check.
Albertsons.  Check.
Gas station.  Check.
Post Office.  Check.
Library.  Check.
Other Albertsons.  Check.

I'd gotten a lot done that day but was on a mission to find the best price on some Kernel Seasons popcorn seasoning  (haven't tried it?  it's amazing!) to throw in Christmas gifts for our neighbors up and down the street.  And nobody had the price I wanted or the type of seasoning.  I was getting frustrated and I only had a couple minutes before I had to get back on base and pick up kids.

All of a sudden, I remembered this crazy good coupon in my wallet for $10 off a shopping order (thank you, General Mills, producer of all the cereals we love).

I ran into the Stater Brothers grocery store.  Check.
Found the popcorn seasoning.  Check.
A dollar less than all the other places I'd checked.  Check.
So I grabbed 4.  Check.
Total on the order:  $11.96.  Check.
Turned in the coupon.  Check.
Final cost to me:  $1.96.  Score!

Could I have used the coupon another time?  Sure.  But at that moment, I was desperate to get a good deal and had been driving all over town to try to find it.

I didn't pray that morning that I'd find a steal on popcorn seasoning.  But I said a little prayer of gratitude in my heart when I got back to the van, because I could just FEEL the heavenly help on such a small thing.  I had completely forgotten about that silly coupon until just the right moment. 

With all my heart, I know that Heavenly Father knows us and loves us! 

A wonderful way to start this month of Christmas!

This morning I took the dogs for a walk and thought about this special month.  I thought about things I could work on personally, and I wondered what I could do to make Christmas special for our family.  You can imagine my surprise when I sat down to take a breather just after getting home and watched this video.  It is EXACTLY what was on my mind today.

Merry Christmas!!!

Ridgecrest turns 50!

Small town living has its appeal!  On November 2nd we helped our town of Ridgecrest celebrate 50 years!  It was a big weekend, with a big parade, time capsule ceremony, and incredibly successful street fair.   We sat on the sidewalk at Home Depot to enjoy the parade, and then we walked to Balsam Street for the fair.  We saw so many people we knew, and even more that we didn't. 

 

This picture below of crowds from the street fair makes me sentimental for another reason, too. 

 

Just a week earlier, our sleepy desert town had been turned upside down on a Friday morning when a very disturbed man committed murder, drove near a school shooting guns out his car window, and was pursued by police down to Kramer Junction, about 45 minutes out of town, where he was shot and killed when he started shooting at officers and at the people he had trapped in his car trunk.  People were terrified, schools went on lockdown, it was seriously insane.

 

So, to see this huge turnout the following weekend meant a lot, a WHOLE lot.  

 

Alma 30:44

Facebook comes alive with "gratitude posts" in November.  I've been doing my fair share.  This was from November 12th:

"At 6:00am this morning, the sky looked like a scene from Independence Day, cloudy, black and gray, creepy, like an alien invasion was rolling in. But 5 minutes later, after Rhiannon and Jason had left for school and work, I took the dogs for a walk and saw a truly breathtaking sunrise--the sun lit those clouds up in pink and orange and purple and it was amazing!!! It lasted for maybe 2 minutes, ...and then it was over. I'm thankful for those tender mercies and reminders from God, that He loves us, is aware of us, and is fighting for us. Reminded me of part of this scripture in the Book of Mormon, Alma 30:44, "...The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." A wonderful start to my day."

 

Jason took a wonderful picture of it!

 

 

 

A Conference blessing

Yesterday was a rough sub job day for me.  I had a cute 2nd grade class that I'd already subbed for twice this school year. "I like them, they like me, we're a happy family," usually. 

But I had two boys in particular who cried and cried and cried that day.  Cried because their mom left in the morning.  Cried because they left their show-and-tell toy at home.  Cried because their tooth was really loose and it hurt.  Cried because their ghosts for the art project didn't look right.  No lie, I ended the 2nd art project at the end of the day because too many kids were crying about it, and then, when I told kids they could get the materials to finish the project at home, one of my criers started sobbing because a) he didn't have any scissors at home, and b) when I told him he could take the scissors home that were in his pencil box, he cried about having a hole in his backpack and what if they fell out?  Cried and cried and cried. 

Now, if I'd been smart, I would have paused everything earlier in the day and RAN to the school library for Judith Viorst's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very-Bad Day.  But I didn't.  I just kept trudging on.

I didn't handle it very well.  I just could not understand why they wouldn't stop crying when I told them to stop.  I remember distinctly announcing to the class a couple times:  "I'm going to lose it."  and "New rule, class.  You can only cry if your dog has died or you're bleeding to death."  Yes, I actually said that.  And, yes, looking back on it, I shouldn't have. 

I left a very lengthy report for the teacher at the end of the day and felt horrible, tired, and incredibly frustrated.  I complained to every member of the family.

Later that night, this came to mind:




I realized very quickly that I was pretty full of myself, that I thought I was the "bomb-diggity" of substitute teachers, when in reality I had a LOT to learn and hadn't once had the thought that day to seek help from above.

I'm grateful for that reminder.  I'm thankful I heard that talk last week and that it came so quickly to mind.  I feel better, more determined to learn from my mistakes and move forward, with God's help!