50/50

8/31  Sunrise

This morning I was listening to a podcast about anxiety.

There were a couple points the woman made that I really appreciated.  First, if people are going to say things about you that you don't like, there's nothing wrong with that.  People can talk, but those who matter to you and really get you will know when things are true or false.

And second, she referred to that Book of Mormon scripture about opposition and said, knowing what we know about opposition and that it's a part of life, it's normal that about half of our human existence is going to be opposition and struggles and negative emotions that we have to deal with, and the other half is joy and happiness and treasured friendships and love.  It's our human existence, the total package.

50/50.  Like the beautiful sunrise I got to see as I was walking today, a little cloudy and gray, but also full of sunlight bursting through those clouds.

It was just some common sense that I really needed this morning, thinking about my own growing pains at school, the crazy flooding in Texas, friends in the hospital, and on and on.  These things aren't fun, they are difficult and trying.  And that's okay.

How grateful I am for the people and blessings in my life that make up that other 50%!

Broken garage door

I had some "excitement" on Thursday when the spring to our garage door broke.  THAT is an awful, scary sound!  It'll be nice to get it repaired, but we have to wait a few days.  For now, we are sporting the "parking lot" look...

The ER visit

We had an unusual allergy scare last week on a Thursday night.  Rhiannon was out of town on a band trip, and Jason, Wade, and I were just chilling watching Thursday night football.

All of a sudden Wade says, "Mom, I'm very itchy and feel funny."  I turned to look at him in the kitchen and he DID look strange.  His whole body had a red sunburned look from hives, and his face looked a little puffy and splotchy.  He was breathing fine but said his tongue felt weird and he had a random cough here and there.  I'd say this all happened in the span of 5 minutes, from the time he noticed the itching and told us about it to when we decided to jump in the van and get to the hospital.

It was not one of my calmer moments.  I grabbed a bucket (in case he had to throw up), an Epi-Pen in case breathing troubles started on the way there, and bags of the last two things he'd eaten (jerky and Swedish fish).  I also gave Wade two allergy/Benadryl tabs.

Wade and I jumped in the van, and I raced down there.  I was driving too fast and worried Wade a bit, but the only thought my brain could process was "Get. there. fast. before. he. can't. breathe."

We were seen relatively quickly.  They gave Wade some steroid pills and prescribed a 4-day round of prednisone.  And that was it.  He never needed the Epi-Pen, and his hives were gone the next morning.  We kept him home, though, because he was exhausted.

I can count on one hand now the times Wade has had a legit allergy scare, and this one was different from all the rest.  Instead of eating something and having to vomit/cough, this time he had hives.  We have NO certain idea what caused it, but Jason wondered if it had something to do with a thorn that had been caught in his shorts earlier in the day and maybe dragged along the couch area where Wade was sitting.  He'd eaten the jerky and Swedish fish before, with no probs.  What a crazy, scary thing!  We're glad he's okay.  I hate these "wake-up calls" and appreciate the reminder all the same, too!

The Erskine Fire

Last Thursday, about 30 minutes from our home, a wildfire began in the mountains near Lake Isabella.  We can easily see the smoke above the mountains, and we smell it different times of the day, depending on where the wind is blowing.

After 4 days, the fire has damaged over 36,000 acres, with 150+ structures and homes burned to the ground, only 10% contained as of this morning.  1700 firemen and personnel have been battling it.

One thing about tragedy is that it opens people's hearts.  The day after the fire started, we went around the house and gathered a few supplies to take to a drop-off location--water bottles, hygiene items, clothes, a few gently used blankets, and unused pillows.  It was a token donation, and I hope we'll be able to do more.

The response from our little Ridgecrest community to help Lake Isabella (and other) residents has been astounding.  An account was set up at a local bank, volunteers have loaded several trailers of donations and driven up to the area on their own time and money, people have delivered chili and donuts to the fire personnel, animals have been relocated here in town and at the fairgrounds.  I spoke to a friend this morning who said she had family staying at a local hotel, and there were goats there!  Livestock and other animals have also been rescued from the wildfire.  These are just a few of the stories I've seen.

In the face of so much destruction, it has been very inspiring to see people gather together to help and make a difference!

The other miracle was this:  our good friend Howard Collins has a sister Cindy who lives up where the wildfire is going on, in Mt Mesa.  She works with firefighters and other personnel for her job, so when the fire started, she grabbed a few belongings from her home and spent the next two days working on the fire situation.  We were concerned for her and her home!  Yesterday Sandi sent me a text that Cindy had been able to check her home--"Cindy's house did not burn....thank you for the prayers.  She is busy working and helping others."

For an idea of the devastation, here are a few pictures that have been all over Facebook this weekend:

First Saturday of Spring Break

A couple days ago I read this very simple, powerful article online about productivity and self-worth. The author insisted that our worth shouldn't be attached to a massive to-do list or accomplishments or how busy, busy we are.  Instead of valuing productivity, the author suggested that we focus on hard work (and relaxing after a job well done), living with heart and eyes wide open (engaging in LIFE), and remembering that a person's worth isn't based on results.  She closed with "My worth just is--and yours is, too."  I loved that!  I've been thinking about it a lot.  You can read the article here:  http://nosidebar.com/detangle-productivity/

Jason got some bad news earlier this week.  Last Saturday he woke up in terrible pain--his foot hurt and the inside of one of his knees felt like it was on fire.  After lots of time at urgent care, back and forth to an imaging center, the pharmacy, and the podiatrist, he learned he had a triple whammy:  painful blood clots in his leg (not deep), a torn plantar fascia, and a knee issue that will most likely need surgery to correct.  He took two days off trying to figure all this out and then hobbled into work for 2 days.  He's resting up and taking it easy this weekend.  It is no fun at all and we all feel so bad for him, hoping that he will continue to rest, not push it too much, and heal.

This was our sunrise yesterday, on the last day of school before Spring Break.  We are so happy for a week off from early-morning seminary and school, haha!  We'll have a stay-cation this week and have a few fun plans here and there.  The kids are caring for our neighbors' dog across the street 3+ times a day for the entire week--they started today and are excited to earn some money doing it.  

We made a small list of things we'd like to do for the week--get new shoes, go see the Zootopia movie, walk the new walking path up by the college, plant the garden, watch a BUNCH of DVRed shows, etc.  Rhiannon is having a few friends over on Wednesday for games and food, and Wade is going with a friend to Bakersfield on Thursday to go ice skating!

Tonight Rhiannon is going on a "date" with her dad for dinner; Wade and I will do something similar.  Life is good!

Poor Wade-O

Yesterday was NOT fun for Wade.  I picked him up at school and took him to the dentist to get two adult teeth extractions and braces put on his lower teeth.  Poor kid!  He woke up this morning feeling worse than yesterday, but the bleeding had stopped and he had a note for "No PE for a week," so we sent him anyways.  Hope he's feeling much better tomorrow!  Yesterday he really wanted French fries or a Subway sandwich or a Taco Bell crunch wrap, but those last two will have to wait for a few days.  I plan to stop by in a few minutes at school to bring him lunch, though--pain meds, fries, ice cream, Jell-O, applesauce, and a salt-water rinse (blech))!

About the only upside is getting to eat all the ice cream, Taco Bell freezes, Jell-O, and milkshakes that his family can throw at him!

Perspective

Over the past few days, several friends have been experiencing some really hard times.

One college friend's home caught on fire on Christmas Day--their garage and daughter's room were levelled to the ground, and the rest of the home has major smoke damage.  Thankfully their family is safe.

My high school friend's father had a seizure and stopped breathing the day after Christmas.  He is in the ICU and still unconscious.

A friend in our ward posted on Facebook yesterday about her elderly mother who has been recovering from a neck injury, and now is in the hospital again for a black widow bite.

We learned earlier in the week that some of our Ragnar friends are having a hard time, too; the wife's brother, a CHP officer, was hit on his motorcycle and is very slowly improving in ICU.  Our friends' son has been dealing with constant migraines for several weeks now, too.

My uncle Dave Funk has melanoma cancer that has spread throughout his body, discovered by accident a few weeks ago when he went in to check on a head injury from slipping on ice.

A sweet lady at Wade's school found out over Thanksgiving Break that her husband has a rare form of colon cancer.  One of her sons is in Wade's class.  (On a side note, I learned later that her school family, staff and teachers, gave her family a spectacular Christmas gift--free tickets to Universal Studios plus a free hotel stay--she was blown away by this!)

Several of our extended family members have been sick, sick, sick over Christmas, too.

Another college friend posted a picture of herself with her two cute boys--she was totally bald and had the biggest smile on her face.  I had no idea she was very sick, too.

And on and on and on.


These are all people I know and care about.  It's hard to hear about their suffering, these good people and good families.  It's a reminder that we are not immune from trials and difficulties, too.

I've thought a lot about my Aunt Shirlene, Uncle David's wife.  My mom sent an email sharing something Aunt Shirlene had said:  "Shirlene shared that her Relief Society had been challenged in October to read the Book of Mormon within a two month period and she had accepted that challenge, as well as studying the institute manual for it.  She said it has really been a blessing to have already been immersed in the reading & studying of the scriptures before learning the news of David’s cancer.  It has given her much peace and comfort to help her get through this, whatever the Lord’s will is to be."

This is life.  I'm grateful for the ups and downs of life, for the many blessings that I enjoy, for the gospel, for the Savior's Atonement that covers not just our sins but our sadnesses, too, and for the lessons that I learn from others' faith through their trials.  Their optimism, humor, courage, and strength inspire me to be better and to do more good.

"Good Neighbor" FAIL

Last night a police officer approached us outside, asking questions.  We learned that a home in our neighborhood was robbed--in broad daylight thieves took furniture, paintings, and firearms.

The worst part is that I saw the guys in the act of doing it but didn't think anything of it.  There have been so many people in and out of the house over the past two weeks since the wife of the elderly couple living there died and the husband went with relatives out of town.  Carpet cleaners, realtors, and many more.

So, when I saw that the "For Sale" sign was removed earlier this week and these guys were moving furniture out of the house, I assumed they were getting the house ready for new occupants.

EPIC fail.

It has been a big wake-up call for our neighborhood, to be more vigilant and take note of suspicious things, to take better care of each other.

I was running an errand this morning and saw three strange cars in front of that house again, so I stopped and asked them what they were doing there.  One man at his van looked at me like I was crazy, spit tobacco juice out the side of his mouth right in front of me, and replied that he was there with the realtor, changing locks.

Classy, dude.  Thanks for changing the locks, but I've got my eye on you now!

This boy

This boy has been feeling a little neglected lately.

He was telling me at breakfast the other day that he felt like all our focus was on Rhiannon--Rhiannon and seminary, Rhiannon and homework, how'd Rhiannon do on her tests, Rhiannon plays the piano so well, Rhiannon needs to get to school early tomorrow to practice with the band, etc, etc, etc.

He wasn't whining or crying about it, he was just sharing how things looked from his perspective.

It made me smile.  I reminded him that there were plenty of things that Wade got recognized for, too: Wade is going to start flag football next month; wow!  Wade is reading at an almost 9th-grade level!, Wade is doing a good job saving up some money, Wade is so close to getting his Arrow of Light for Cub Scouts, Wade did such a good job mowing the lawn!

It's not like we stick him in a corner and forget about him, but I appreciated his honest opinion and told him I'd do a better job.  :)

One thing that Wade has been planning for is the Student Council election coming up in a few weeks.  He plans to run for vice president and have posters that say:  "WANTED, Wade Cushing, for Vice President."  Which is the reason for the dog house pictures. :)

We love Wade and we love his sister, too!  We're blessed to have such good kids!

And then the flu hits.

Last week was a blur, an eat-lots-of-soup, get-lots-of-rest, and don't-leave-the-house-if-you-can-help-it kind of blur!

Wade started with a fever two days before Jason's birthday--the fever lasted 2 days over the weekend, and then we kept him home from school one day.  He has a little cough now but recovered remarkably quickly.

Jason and I, well, not so quickly.  We both had fever for a couple days, ZERO energy for a week, and now we're dealing with coughs, but at least we have energy mostly back!

Blessedly, Rhiannon has been unscathed, so far.  It's all over Ridgecrest and not showing a slow-down yet.

Tell me how you really feel

The topic of baseball came up at our goal-setting Family Home Evening last night.  We told Wade that we'd support him in what he'd like to do athletically, that it was important to "do a sport" for many reasons, to learn skills, get exercise, make friends, and get away from electronics, ha-ha!  I enthusiastically encouraged Wade to try a golf clinic or basketball or soccer, sports he hadn't played with an organized team yet.  Jason gave Wade some wise counsel and told him that if he took a year off from baseball, he probably would never come back to it, and most importantly, to not let the last season keep him from signing up for baseball if he wanted to.

Ah, last season.  I've spent 7 months trying to forget about it, but I woke up at 4:30 this morning from a very vivid dream about it.  In the dream I was in a car with Jason and our home teacher Brother Robins and a couple other people, tearfully describing, in great detail, the "character-building" that Wade experienced with the Mustang Tigers.  I couldn't go back to sleep and decided to come down and type it out.

So, here's a pull-the-skeleton-out-of-the-closet, let's-get-real post, in letter format:

To whom it may concern, members of the Mustang division, the IWVYB league, and parents and Ridgecrest baseball coaches in general,

After 4 previous seasons of baseball, our son got his chance to build character in the 2013 spring season as a first-year Mustang.  His team finished with an 0-13 record and mercifully ended the playoffs early.  Despite the difficult season, our family appreciates the time, sacrifice, and efforts of his three coaches, who took time away from their own families and pursuits to coach.

One of the biggest set-backs for our team, in my opinion, was the unchecked egos and bad attitudes of several players on our team.  A valuable lesson--there is no "I" in T.E.A.M (together everyone achieves more)--was not learned. Early in the season one coach thought it would be a good idea to have our son start preparing to be a back-up pitcher.  We were quietly excited about this, but we admitted that he had very little experience except to be pulled from the outfield to pitch in an emergency, nail-biting situation at his Pinto team's final championship game the year before.  (He'd done well with that, too!)  You can imagine how our son must have felt, anticipating a chance to actually play something other than an outfield position, when other "more experienced" boys on his team put up a fuss to the coaches and didn't think that was a good idea for him to pitch.  Our son spent the rest of the SEASON obediently playing in the outfield after that night.

Our team had a lot of talent, full of good baseball players.  But game after game, we'd watch the team implode.  It was a cycle:

1.  The team would start out playing hard, excited, and they'd get ahead.
2.  Someone on the team would make a mistake.
3.  "More experienced" players would start in with bad-mouthing, cut-downs, tantrums, and the like.
4.  The team would implode.
5.  We'd lose the game.

We're proud of our son, though.  He never quit, he showed up for practices and games, he was respectful to his coaches, and he played his best and kept his head high at center field.  He also kept his mouth shut in the dugout and on the field.  But he admitted to getting a sick feeling in his stomach before every baseball outing, and tears were shed after many of them, on the way home in the van.

So, you can imagine how I felt to talk about baseball again.

At this moment, I don't know if our son will want to sign-up.  We've given him a couple weeks to think about it and decide before the final sign-ups deadline later this month.  We'll support him either way.  I know we're probably one of those families that coaches would rather avoid, the kind that digs out the baseball gear just before a season starts and hangs it up at the end, who declines summer ABL invitations to be an "alternate,"the family who doesn't spend weekends and nights at the baseball field, and who, heaven forbid, signs their kid up for baseball so he can have fun and learn how to play, not to groom him to be the high school/college star or the next J.D. Martin.

I get that baseball is the "other" religion in Ridgecrest.  But I'd love to see a different kind of baseball played, especially with these young kids, where parents' and coaches' and kids' visions of grandeur, profanity, and egos are checked at the door.  A type of baseball where kids are rotated through positions more and not groomed for the in-field, where they're allowed to have fun, make mistakes, and learn to love baseball.

Sincerely,
a somewhat disgruntled parent

ANT-agonistic

Boy howdy, I am exhausted and it's not quite 11:15am.  I've gone through a bottle of Windex and two rolls of paper towels this morning, cleaning up ants.  Merry Christmas to me!

The pesky ant problem from last night, er, escalated to a war this morning.  The weird part was that I didn't see ANY ants at all until Wade went to grab something in the kitchen for me before he left for school.  He's the one who first saw the moving counter top, poor kid.  It was soooooooo gross!

Our pest control service came to save the day about an hour later and set some bait out, telling me to call them at 1:30pm if the ants were still busy.  They assured me they'd seen worse, that Ridgecrest sits on ants and our house just happened to get picked today.  Fun.

On the plus side, I won't feel guilty taking a nap today AND my countertops and kitchen are oh, so sparkly, seeing as how I've been spraying everything down every 5 minutes!

14 more school days until Christmas Break

Only 14 more days of school until Christmas break, but who's counting?  :)

We really enjoyed a week-long Thanksgiving stay-cation--it was fun!  But this morning it was time to get back to reality.  Today Jason headed back to work and the kids went back to school.  I did laundry, worked on Christmas cards, did some more laundry, worked on some more Christmas cards, and I also caught a couple of Cyber Monday sales.  Then it was suddenly time to pick up kids from school--the day flew by!

Tonight I opened a cupboard in the kitchen to take down a cookbook and got a big shock to find that the entire shelf was crawling with ANTS.  SICK!!!  I haven't had a problem like that since we moved in 4 years ago.  I put a call in to our pest control service who can come tomorrow at 9:30am. 

So... the entire pantry is spread across the dining room table and the kitchen counter.  It's a lot of stuff.  I guess a silver lining is that I'll get to organize it and make it all pretty after it's all over.  Got to think positive, right?

A Conference blessing

Yesterday was a rough sub job day for me.  I had a cute 2nd grade class that I'd already subbed for twice this school year. "I like them, they like me, we're a happy family," usually. 

But I had two boys in particular who cried and cried and cried that day.  Cried because their mom left in the morning.  Cried because they left their show-and-tell toy at home.  Cried because their tooth was really loose and it hurt.  Cried because their ghosts for the art project didn't look right.  No lie, I ended the 2nd art project at the end of the day because too many kids were crying about it, and then, when I told kids they could get the materials to finish the project at home, one of my criers started sobbing because a) he didn't have any scissors at home, and b) when I told him he could take the scissors home that were in his pencil box, he cried about having a hole in his backpack and what if they fell out?  Cried and cried and cried. 

Now, if I'd been smart, I would have paused everything earlier in the day and RAN to the school library for Judith Viorst's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very-Bad Day.  But I didn't.  I just kept trudging on.

I didn't handle it very well.  I just could not understand why they wouldn't stop crying when I told them to stop.  I remember distinctly announcing to the class a couple times:  "I'm going to lose it."  and "New rule, class.  You can only cry if your dog has died or you're bleeding to death."  Yes, I actually said that.  And, yes, looking back on it, I shouldn't have. 

I left a very lengthy report for the teacher at the end of the day and felt horrible, tired, and incredibly frustrated.  I complained to every member of the family.

Later that night, this came to mind:




I realized very quickly that I was pretty full of myself, that I thought I was the "bomb-diggity" of substitute teachers, when in reality I had a LOT to learn and hadn't once had the thought that day to seek help from above.

I'm grateful for that reminder.  I'm thankful I heard that talk last week and that it came so quickly to mind.  I feel better, more determined to learn from my mistakes and move forward, with God's help!

Oh, man.

I subbed 3 times this week, two times in a 4th grade class, and once in 5th grade.

Yesterday I guess I'd reached my limit for the week, though.  It was the end of the day, the 4th graders had been pretty good, but I was tired and getting cranky.  One thing I can't stand is when I give very c-o-n-c-i-s-e, clear directions, and then 2 minutes later half the class will say, "What are we supposed to do?"  It reminds me of that Cool Hand Luke line: "What we've got here is a failure to communicate."

So at the end of the day, I explained very carefully and slowly what the homework assignment was and what the kids were supposed to do with it when they finished.  Then I repeated the directions one more time for good measure.  And then I said, "OK.  Now I need to get serious.  I've told you exactly what you need to do.  If you come up to me and ask me what you're supposed to do with your homework, I'm going to take your paper, tear it in two, and throw it away."  (I know, not very classy on my part.)

Sure enough, one girl came up to me maybe 5 minutes later (after the rest of the class had gotten to work and were glad to have some free time to work on the homework assignment.  We'd even taken a moment to answer the hardest question together). 

She said, "Mrs. Cushing, do we have homework tonight?"

Oh, man. 

I had so many things come to my brain.  What planet was she on?  Not only had she missed the twice-repeated directions just a couple minutes ago, she'd missed the fact that there even WAS an assignment.

I think my eyes bugged out of my head and my eyebrows went to my hairline, but, no, I didn't take her paper and throw it away, because she didn't even know which paper it was.  I could have marched over to her desk and made some big drama out of it, but my balloon had been popped and all I could feel was sadness for this poor girl.  How many other things did she miss that day, or every day? 

Growing pains

I got a form about Rhiannon's band day trip to Disneyland in May.  It was a letter packed with info and also a request for help with fundraisers the next few months. 

On the last line of the letter, the band director was also asking for parents' help on the actual trip. Rhiannon did not want me to check that last little box.  Boy, did that make me feel sad, and mad!  I had to keep my cool, though, because this happened in the van on the way to school with other kids I was carpooling.  I've been steaming about it for the last several minutes since I got home. 

And then it hit me.  Sure, Rhiannon may not want to be embarrassed by her mom, but she's also doing me a favor.  Do I really WANT to spend all day with a very large group of loud, giggly, flirting middle school kids?  Not really!

Stir-crazy

Today is Fever Day 3 for Wade. 

I thought he was doing remarkably better during the day yesterday, but he started feeling bad again last night and had a 102+degree temperature this morning.  After almost passing out because his mom made him get up for a nasal rinse, going back to bed, and then taking a cozy bath to wash the stink off of him, Wade seems to be doing better now.  He's not chilled and seems content to sip his Gatorade and watch re-runs of Phineas and Ferb.

He IS tired of the crazy lady with bedhead still in her pink pajamas at 10:37am who will NOT leave him alone and keeps hovering!  (Yes, that's me.)   I'd probably be a little annoyed at myself, too:

"Blow your nose."

"Finish that bottle of water by 10:30."

"Here's some apple juice."

"Here's some water."

"Take these two pills.  Come on, drink a little more water with it, please."

"Are you okay, Wade?"

"Can I get you anything, Wade?"

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Are you cold?  Want another blanket?"

"Can I fluff your pillows for you?"


I'm starting to feel a little crazy.  Maybe it's the Lysol fumes?   Or the weird smell in Wade's bedroom when I enter in the mornings?  Maybe it's the worry about the future and how long this gunk is going to last?

I need to take some deep breaths and maybe go take a cozy bath, too.  Wade's had a priesthood blessing, he's alive and breathing, he's just got the flu that lots of other kids have from his school.  (10 kids were missing from his class yesterday.)  I spoke to his doctor's office this morning and they told me what the crazy lady/over-reacting mom already knew but needed to hear again:

"He's got what everyone else has.  All he needs is lots of rest and lots of fluids."

This too shall pass!

Sugar cookies and good neighbors

Yesterday we hosted a neighborhood cookie decorating party.  It turned out really, really well.

I spent the morning before churning out 2 batches of sugar cookies while I watched White Christmas, and then I made 3 batches of Wilton's buttercream frosting the day of.  Green, yellow, and pink (the red just wasn't happening) frosting.  We had bowls of butterscotch chips, peppermint flavored marshmallows, regular marshmallows, Twizzlers Pull-n-Peel, M&Ms, and lots of sprinkles.  Just thinking about all that candy is making me a little nauseous!

By 4:15pm Friday there were 13 kids surrounding the two tables downstairs, up to their eyeballs in frosting, candy, and sugar cookies.  Oh, yeah, and they'd all brought candy with them, too.  Man, it was a sugar fest!   Only 2 families didn't make it, and one kid had to stay home sick.  I was really pleased with the turnout.  The kids were fun, well-mannered, and happy!

We still had cookies leftover, so today Rhiannon and Wade helped me deliver plates of decorated sugar cookies to the older neighbors on our street and the two families we'd missed at the party.  I am so pleased to have that little "peace on earth, goodwill towards men" project accomplished!  We don't tell our neighbors often enough how great they are; thankfully Christmas is the perfect time of year to let them know!

I am trying to wrap my head around the Connecticut school shooting.  Rhiannon came home from school and pointed it out to me on the Internet, maybe a half-hour before our cookie party guests were to arrive.  It was a bit of an out-of-body experience at the party, having all that fun, yet knowing people on the other side of the country were devastated with grief and shock.  I wrote this on Facebook:

"I found out about the school shooting yesterday just minutes before we filled our house with neighbor kids to decorate cookies. It was ironic for me, surrounded by candy, cookies, and smiling kids having fun, while my mind thought about Connecticut. I can't wrap my head and heart around this tragedy; all I can think to do is pray, pray, pray for that community and do all I can to spread love and kindness in my own little corner."

It's official...I'm getting old.

I went to a podiatrist last week.  

After poking and prodding my feet and doing x-rays, he diagnosed me with "post traumatic arthritis" in the left foot and probable plantar fasciitis in both.  It's no surprise that the fifth metatarsal joint on the side of my left foot is shot--that's where I've injured it repeatedly over the years.  He mentioned surgery to clean up the joint or, more conservatively, orthotics.

He gave me these beauties to wear at night, too:

which have helped a lot with the heel pain I've got.   I'm not excited to get the bill for these simple contraptions--it's probably a lot!

Next visit we'll do an ultrasound of my left foot and talk orthotics.  I think I'm more inclined to try that than surgery--the doctor I had last summer did not recommend surgery and said that it was risky and didn't always work...so I'm steering clear of that for now!

A Mother's Day I will never, ever forget

This morning I'm grateful for so many things.

I'm thankful for kids who still love me even when I'm cranky on Mother's Day morning and get upset with them for not waking up at the crack of dawn to answer my beck and call.

I'm thankful for good, hard cries.

I'm thankful for my sweet family who let me cry even more on the way home from church.

I'm grateful for crushing blows, repentance, and forgiveness. 

I'm grateful for Hershey's chocolate bars wrapped in Mother's Day quotes.

I'm thankful for cute cards from Rhiannon and Wade.

I'm thankful for Jason shooing me out of the kitchen and taking over dinner production (it was SO GOOD, too!)

I'm thankful for Ibuprofen.

I'm thankful for my extended family, for their love, humor, and support.

I'm thankful for good, kind friends who were there for me yesterday in Primary when I was barely able to focus and keep my composure.

I'm thankful for our neighbor's leftover cheesecake that she brought over after church along with some beautiful homemade flowers, made from paper of all things!

I'm thankful for heartfelt prayers on my knees to God at my bedside last night, asking for peace, protection, and courage.

I'm so, so thankful that God protected the little boy who accidentally got left outside the church when we were bringing the Nursery kids in from playing in the grass.  His dad found him standing quietly by the door, just patiently waiting for way too long for someone to let him in. 

I didn't know he was missing until his dad brought him into the room. 

It was really, really, really bad. 

I felt so sick inside, horribly aware of what COULD have happened. 

I'm thankful for the little boy's parents who let me apologize.  I hope they can forgive me.

I'm thankful for mistakes that knock you off your feet, turn you to God, and help you learn. 

It's a Mother's Day I will never forget!