A Conference blessing

Yesterday was a rough sub job day for me.  I had a cute 2nd grade class that I'd already subbed for twice this school year. "I like them, they like me, we're a happy family," usually. 

But I had two boys in particular who cried and cried and cried that day.  Cried because their mom left in the morning.  Cried because they left their show-and-tell toy at home.  Cried because their tooth was really loose and it hurt.  Cried because their ghosts for the art project didn't look right.  No lie, I ended the 2nd art project at the end of the day because too many kids were crying about it, and then, when I told kids they could get the materials to finish the project at home, one of my criers started sobbing because a) he didn't have any scissors at home, and b) when I told him he could take the scissors home that were in his pencil box, he cried about having a hole in his backpack and what if they fell out?  Cried and cried and cried. 

Now, if I'd been smart, I would have paused everything earlier in the day and RAN to the school library for Judith Viorst's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very-Bad Day.  But I didn't.  I just kept trudging on.

I didn't handle it very well.  I just could not understand why they wouldn't stop crying when I told them to stop.  I remember distinctly announcing to the class a couple times:  "I'm going to lose it."  and "New rule, class.  You can only cry if your dog has died or you're bleeding to death."  Yes, I actually said that.  And, yes, looking back on it, I shouldn't have. 

I left a very lengthy report for the teacher at the end of the day and felt horrible, tired, and incredibly frustrated.  I complained to every member of the family.

Later that night, this came to mind:




I realized very quickly that I was pretty full of myself, that I thought I was the "bomb-diggity" of substitute teachers, when in reality I had a LOT to learn and hadn't once had the thought that day to seek help from above.

I'm grateful for that reminder.  I'm thankful I heard that talk last week and that it came so quickly to mind.  I feel better, more determined to learn from my mistakes and move forward, with God's help!

Crossroads

cross·road

/ˈkrɔsˌroʊd, ˈkrɒs-/ Show Spell[kraws-rohd, kros-]  
 

noun

 

1. a road that crosses another road, or one that runs transversely to main roads

 

2. a by-road

 

3. Often, crossroads  ( used with a singular or plural verb )

 

        a. the place where roads intersect

        b. a point at which a vital decision must be made

        c. a main center of activity

 

Related Words:  hamlet, critical point, juncture

 

 

 

A long time ago a friend of mine shared a quote with me about mothers "at the crossroads."  I've looked all over the Internet this morning and just can't seem to find the quote that I remember.  But I did find this:

 

 

from President Ezra Taft Benson--

“First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are coming or going—when they leave and return from school—when they leave and return from dates—when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen.” 

 

 

 

and this, from President Harold B. Lee--

 

"Mothers, stay at the crossroads of the home. Some time ago, I was attending a quarterly stake conference. … I said to the president of the stake, … “Have you some mother here, an older mother, who had a large family and had the joy of seeing every one of her family married in the temple?”  He looked out over the audience and he said, “Well, there is Sister (I shall call her Sister Jones), she has had a family of eleven, and they all have been married in the temple."  As this lovely white-haired mother stood beside me at the microphone, I said, “Would you take a lesson out of your book and tell us, what have you done to reach this most marvelous achievement?”  And she replied, … “I might give you two suggestions. In the first place, when our family was growing up, I always was there at the crossroads of the home, when my children were coming to or going from the home. And second: whatever we did we did together as a family. We played together, we prayed together, we worked together, we did everything together. I guess that’s all I can think of.”  I said to her, “Now you have preached two great sermons.”

 

Keep the mother of your home at the “crossroads” of the home. There is a great danger today of homes breaking down because of allurements to entice mothers to neglect their being at home as the family members are coming to or going from the home. Now, I recognize the necessity of some mothers being required to earn sustenance for their family. But even here, Relief Society presidents and bishops should take care lest they fail to lend all aid possible to the mother of small children and to help her, if possible, in planning the nature of work or the schedule of time. All this lies within the province of the Relief Society working with the home.

Today I feel that women are becoming victims of the speed of modern living. It is in building their motherly intuition and that marvelous closeness with their children that they are enabled to tune in upon the wavelengths of their children and to pick up the first signs of difficulty, of danger and distress, which if caught in time would save them from disaster.^"

 

And this poem, shared by President Thomas S. Monson:

 

He stood at the crossroads all alone,
The sunlight in his face.
He had no thought for the world unknown—
He was set for a manly race.
But the roads stretched east, and the roads stretched west,
And the lad knew not which road was best;
So he chose the road that led him down,
And he lost the race and victor’s crown.
He was caught at last in an angry snare
Because no one stood at the crossroads there
To show him the better road.
 

Another day, at the self-same place,
A boy with high hopes stood.
He, too, was set for a manly race;
He, too, was seeking the things that were good;
But one was there who the roads did know,
And that one showed him which way to go.
So he turned from the road that would lead him down,
And he won the race and the victor’s crown.
He walks today the highway fair
Because one stood at the crossroads there
To show him the better way.

[quoted from Central Christian Monitor, in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 66–67; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 48]

 

 

This theme of crossroads came flooding back to me during my sub job yesterday. 

 

 

I was teaching a 5th grade class right next door to Wade's classroom, and all of the 4th and 5th graders were outside in the afternoon for a quick recess, called "choice P.E." of all things.  I was standing in the middle of the blacktop, rotating around to keep an eye on a particularly energetic group of boys playing baseball .  I'd move around in a circle to check on other kids, too. 

 

After a few minutes my eyes rested on one of the wall ball courts, and there was Wade, faking that he was staring off into the distance, when really he was waiting for me to notice him.  We both smiled and I walked over to him, touched him on the shoulder, and we laughed.  After that Wade stuck by my side the last few minutes of the recess, and I cherished that moment with him.  He wasn't embarrassed to be hanging with his mom (yet), and he was the perfect breath of fresh air that I needed to get through the last couple hours of the day.

 

That night the phone rang several times for call-ahead sub jobs.  I'd already reached my self-appointed "quota" of jobs for the pay period, the point where I can take 'em or leave 'em and not feel guilty about it, especially if I've got other commitments or appointments the day of the job.  After the second phone call, Wade looked up from his homework and said, "Don't take it, Mom."  As gracious and wonderful as our kids are about my "sub job days,"  when they are as helpful and understanding as is humanly possible, the fact of the matter is that they like it better when I'm home to greet them at the crossroads.  They can sense the difference, no matter how hard I try to amp up my game and make things as  normal as possible.

 

Am I going to quit subbing?  No.  I enjoy it (most of the time), and it's a good outlet for me.  The pay stinks, so that's not why I do it, ha-ha!  Plus kids are fun!

 

Is this a "mothers should stay in the home" post?  Not exactly.  Have I offended anyone?  I hope not.  Women have different needs, different family situations, different circumstances, different opportunities, and different personalities.   There isn't a cookie-cutter answer.  There may come a day when things change for me and I give up subbing altogether or decide to work full-time.  

 

What this post is, well, it's a personal reminder to myself, to pay attention, listen to promptings, and work with Jason and the Lord to do the very best we can for these two wonderful kids in our home.  To recognize and be able to balance their needs with our own.

 

I feel really, really, really blessed, and I am very grateful to be a wife and a mom.  It's not easy, but it is so worth it!  

 

Oh, man.

I subbed 3 times this week, two times in a 4th grade class, and once in 5th grade.

Yesterday I guess I'd reached my limit for the week, though.  It was the end of the day, the 4th graders had been pretty good, but I was tired and getting cranky.  One thing I can't stand is when I give very c-o-n-c-i-s-e, clear directions, and then 2 minutes later half the class will say, "What are we supposed to do?"  It reminds me of that Cool Hand Luke line: "What we've got here is a failure to communicate."

So at the end of the day, I explained very carefully and slowly what the homework assignment was and what the kids were supposed to do with it when they finished.  Then I repeated the directions one more time for good measure.  And then I said, "OK.  Now I need to get serious.  I've told you exactly what you need to do.  If you come up to me and ask me what you're supposed to do with your homework, I'm going to take your paper, tear it in two, and throw it away."  (I know, not very classy on my part.)

Sure enough, one girl came up to me maybe 5 minutes later (after the rest of the class had gotten to work and were glad to have some free time to work on the homework assignment.  We'd even taken a moment to answer the hardest question together). 

She said, "Mrs. Cushing, do we have homework tonight?"

Oh, man. 

I had so many things come to my brain.  What planet was she on?  Not only had she missed the twice-repeated directions just a couple minutes ago, she'd missed the fact that there even WAS an assignment.

I think my eyes bugged out of my head and my eyebrows went to my hairline, but, no, I didn't take her paper and throw it away, because she didn't even know which paper it was.  I could have marched over to her desk and made some big drama out of it, but my balloon had been popped and all I could feel was sadness for this poor girl.  How many other things did she miss that day, or every day? 

Good intentions, ME days, and a grand yard project

This is one of those r-a-n-d-o-m posts!

Yesterday I had to laugh at myself during a sub job with 2nd graders.  Here's how it went:  one thing I don't manage well is when you give kids an assignment and have to check everyone's work before they can put it away.  I haven't managed a good system yet and so I usually end up with 20+ kids waiting in line to see me (=disaster waiting to happen.)  But I got an idea yesterday and set up an "answer sheet" system at the back table, where 5 kids at a time could go check their work with red pens after they'd shown me that they'd at least completed the pages.  I was pretty proud of myself until two of the boys raised their hands and said they didn't get any papers--I'd used theirs for answer sheets!  Hahaha!  I laughed and said, "Well, that is definitely my mistake.  You boys luck out today and can work together as a team on this last remaining page."  Yeah, I was humbled because here I thought I had rigged up a perfect plan (the kids LOVED it!), and then it backfired on me! 

While the kids and I were at school, Jason enjoyed a very rare "Me" day.  He had the entire day to do whatever he wanted, and he did just that!  He finished our taxes, arranged for a new bundle service with our cable company, did some shopping, got Taco Bell for lunch, and went for a run.  He works so hard and does so much for so many people--I'm happy he could get a little time to himself!

That night Rhiannon and I watched Dolphin Tale while Wade and Jason put together the Tie Fighter Lego set that Jason had picked up that day.  Then we watched a "classic" on Netflix....don't laugh...Leave it to Beaver!  I told the kids they had to watch one episode with me, and then they stuck around for a second one.  It was so cute! 

So that brings me to today.  The boys did Scouting for Food, and I put Rhiannon to work with me at home vacuuming, mopping, organizing linen closets, and super-cleaning bathrooms.  THEN when the boys got back, we all donned some work clothes and removed all the oleander bushes in the backyard.  HALLELUJAH!  We have plans for reclaiming that area for more garden space or a flower bed.  I am thrilled! 

Happy Saturday!

Lizards, dragonflies, and...dry erase markers?

Had a 3rd/4th combination class all day yesterday and enjoyed most of it.   There were a few, um, highlights I thought I'd share:

Early in the day:

Me: Way to go, class! Each of your tables is doing so well with being on task and focused. I'm going to add a tally point for each table. (I grab a random dry erase marker and add points to the board).

Class: (eyes and mouths wide open with horror) YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE THE BLACK MARKER FOR THE TABLE POINTS!!!





HOW COULD I DO SUCH A THING?!

The funny thing is that the sweet kids were all as serious as could be. I just smiled big and continued adding points in random colors the rest of the day. Don't hate me! :)

There was also a boy who found a dead dragonfly right before lunch and had a good time scaring the girls with it.  I got pretty irritated at our loud, won't-listen-to-a-thing-I-say lunch line, so we turned around and went back to class and started over with a good ol' speech from me.  Second time around was much better.  I'm blaming it on the dragonfly terror:

Then after lunch we got another surprise.  I opened the door to let the kids in and another visitor joined us:

It took several minutes to get the class calmed down and get the lizard OUT.  I had to get on the same dragonfly kid who thought it'd be helpful to try and STEP ON the lizard.  Now, I'll be honest, I can imagine that's exactly what I'd be tempted to do if this had gone on inside our own home (or, let's be real, I'd just be standing on the kitchen table screaming), but it just really rubbed me the wrong way when he did that in the classroom.  Eventually a sweet girl just opened the classroom door and the lizard hightailed it out of there!  I was so composed and calm, total opposite of what I'd be normally, watching that lizard dart all over the classroom floor!

It was an exciting day, followed by a busy evening of Cub Scouts and Activity Days for Primary and a loud but fun Girls Camp awards meeting with Rhiannon.  That night Jason and I were chilling watching some ESPN and X-Factor.  I turned to him and said, "I am SO READY to get away from it all tomorrow and be in the mountains!"

Higher education

This is what I've been working on this summer:

Well, it's not a 100% across the board, but I've enjoyed brushing up on some teaching skills.  The biggest thing I've learned is that I still have a lot to learn!

I've also been reading the Book of Mormon steady this week.  I started on Sunday and have 100 pages under my belt.  My goal is to finish it (again) by the time school starts, and so far I'm off to a great start.  I love the Book of Mormon.  It's uplifting and SO APPLICABLE to the lives we live today.  And, best of all, it's TRUE!  Powerful stuff!

Hula hoops, bean bags, and a really great book

I really enjoyed my sub job today.  I needed to get out and take a break from other things I was worried about, such as Oscar's little "surgery" at 8am this morning.  

A few times a year the 1st-grade teachers get subs and let us entertain the kids with a morning of PE activities while they do testing in small groups.  It's pretty smart, and the kids love it.  Last time I got the playground station, so it was only fair that I do something different this time.  Instead I rotated 4 different groups through


the hula hoops and


the beanbags station!

It was fun.  I was REALLY proud of myself for remembering to wear athletic shoes, too.  It's not the most professional look, but when you're outside running around for 3 hours, it's the only way to go.

Just before the teachers came back, we got the kids settled back in their classrooms and read books that had been left for us.  I absolutely loved this one:




The kids were spellbound, not just by my attractice read-aloud voice, heh-heh, but because of the story itself and the beautiful pictures.  It was TERRIFIC!  Sometimes it takes a miracle to get a group of almost 30 1st graders settled down, but this book did it easily! 

Afterwards I asked the kids what character they'd like to see hop out of a book.  I said I'd like to meet Knuffle Bunny.  The kids had no idea who that was--maybe that'll have to be the next read-aloud!

Take a trip down Memory Lane with me:  Wade reads Knuffle Bunny

Making the most of Monday

Last night we were joking about my lack of sub jobs lately.  Since we got the dog back in December, I've subbed once.  Again, I'm not complaining because the low-key nature of substituting REALLY appeals to me!  However, a very tiny part of me hoped that my consistent stream of office referrals hadn't labeled me one of "those" subs.  I'm definitely not shy about asking for help with a student if I've tried everything I know and the kid is still disruptive.  The last few times I've subbed, I've sent a kid packing.  (A scary incident earlier in the school year helped me get over the embarrassment of calling the office FAST.)

So today I got a call to sub for a teacher the rest of the week.  I said I was happy to, except for Thursday because I had appointments and such.  Woo-hoo!

Thankfully that call came in the morning--it gave me the oomph I needed so that I didn't squander the day away.  Instead I...

--washed/dried a small mountain of laundry
--took Oscar to the vet for shots
--cleaned up the kitchen, emptied the dishwasher
--got groceries
--vacuumed
--ran some errands
--made some arrangements for the Blue & Gold banquet on Thursday
--took Oscar for a nice long walk

I'm tired, but I feel much better about subbing for 18 hours this week!  Here's hoping for three wonderful, referral-free days! :)

Poems

Today was a very happy day for Wade--his mom subbed in his class the whole day!  He was a great student, super helpful and hard-working.  One of the activities for the day was creating poems about a friend, trying to use rhyming words.  Here was Wade's:

A Good Friend

I want to play with my friend each day
And even on Saturday.
And even if we get in fights,
I still want to play at his house all day and night.

by Wade Cushing


Here was another favorite:


Mrs. Cushing is nice
Just like Jesus Christ.

by Elijah

This cute, bright little Hispanic boy wrote that and was so excited to show it to me.  A student next to him asked me, "Didn't he use a bad word in his poem?"  I said it was okay, he wasn't swearing, just using a name.  I seriously wanted to hug the kids and take them home with me, it was too cute.

Of course the kid who threw pencils around the room and stole things from people's desks wasn't cute.  (I had to call the office and have someone come get him--he wouldn't do ANYTHING I asked him to do.) But the other kids in the class helped make it a pretty darn good day! 

I wish I was making this stuff up...

I thought I'd share my substitute job experience from today.  It's a doooooooooooozy.

Let's start with the positives on today's job, shall we? First, there were some really sweet kids in the class. Second, I didn't cry. (Key word is I--I did make some kids cry,though). Oh, sorry, I'm supposed to stay positive. The kids liked my stories about Christmas ding-dong-ditching, and they loved it when I read aloud in strange voices. For my very first full-day job, I survived. (Is that positive???) I did what the teacher asked me to do in the lesson plans, except for the math problems at the very end. I wasn't found at the end of the day weeping in a corner or stuffed into a trashcan.


So here are some other things that happened that give you a clear picture of the overall day:

1. I dealt with a cryer, LOTS of tattle-talers, and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of talking. Some day these kids will be awesome presenters or politicians, any job where you get to talk/talk/talk and listen to your own voice all day. It's funny, though, I think the cryer was the hardest one for me to deal with. This person cried about EVERYTHING.

2. I got lots of help from other adults on campus, yelling at my class to quiet down outside because there were people in class. Yeah, and I was standing right there in the middle of it all, too. Heck, I even got help from the PRINCIPAL when she found one of my kids on the sidewalk with a sprained ankle. (No, this was not at recess--we were just walking back to class, and two kids started running after a ball. Kid #2 fell, sprained his ankle and went home. This is the part I feel the worst about.)

3. The very last minute of the day, I handed out Smarties, ONLY to the kids who'd had good behavior that day. It was probably about half the class. One kid, who'd really been crazy, acted surprised when I didn't give him a Smartie. He rushed out the door, sobbing, right when Rhiannon and Wade were there waiting for me. They looked at me with this "You made someone cry???" expression! Just pile it on, folks!

4. During the day I confiscated baseball cards, a Burger King Zhu-Zhu pet, a tiny skateboard, and a scary contraption made of broken paper clip pieces and an eraser. I should have confiscated ALL of the teacher's extra stash of pencils, erasers, dry-erase markers, a certain kid's scissors, and that darn pencil sharpener,etc, etc, etc.

5. Have you heard the expression "a sign of things to come"? Well, I got a BIG SIGN the first 10 minutes of class. The school district's counselor was out sick, so I read a story I had in my backpack, a drippy sweet story about how we all have invisible buckets that we fill by being kind to others, etc. Our invisible bucket is emptied when we're unkind. There were a few kids who got the message of it and had smiles on their faces. Guess what the rest of the class was doing? Trying to steal their neighbor's invisible bucket! I'm laughing about it now, but at the time I was stunned. I just didn't see that coming.

Well, my worst fear came true today. I became one of "THOSE" subs, the person who has zero control and manages to let the whole school know it. Oh, and the sub who makes kids cry, too.  HOPEFULLY it can't get worse, right? RIGHT?

I'm signing off on the longest day EVER.  May future jobs be less eventful!!!!!!!!

First sub experience

I survived my first subbing experience!  There were a lot of things that worked in my favor this morning:

1.  6+ kids were absent (day after Halloween).  And then two more left during the morning for various reasons.  There were less than 20 kids there!
2.  I knew the full-time teacher and enjoyed visiting with her and getting some personal input before the day started.  Her room was neat and organized, and she had excellent lesson plans, etc, ready to go for me.
3.  I was only there for 3 hours.
4.  Nobody cried.
5.  I found out that kids like to tell jokes.  My favorite was from one of the second graders:
"What did the deer write to his aunt?  Answer:  'Dear Deer'"  After that the kids kept wanting to tell me jokes.
6.  Kindness goes a long ways.  So does assuming the best of each child, instead of focusing just on the trouble kids.
7.  I got some hugs and some cute pictures from kids before I left.
8.  Read-aloud time was THE best.  All eyes were on the story 'Library Lion' that I borrowed from Wade's bookshelf.
9.  The kid that I was told to keep a watchful eye on was super sweet!
10.  Both Wade and Rhiannon were SUPER excited that their mom was a sub at their school!!!

Will I do it again?  Absolutely.  Do I need to work on some stuff?  Definitely.  I'm not sure how much actual learning went on! I handed out worksheets and some of it was pretty hard for the kids.  I should have done a mini-lesson or something, instead of just handing the papers out and then walking around the room (and answering the same questions 20+ times).  I let a lot of kids work together on papers, which could be a little too much help, especially when the 2nd graders offered to help the 1st graders. I did finally pull all the 2nd graders to the carpet (it was a combo class) and we worked on one of the math sheets together.  I was pretty lax during center time, too. 

What a difference from being a first-time full-time teacher, though!  Sure, I was sweating like a dog, but I do that all the time.  I felt relaxed all morning and really enjoyed myself.  Hurray!

I don't want to take over the blog with subbing stories, so the rest will go under "Adventures in Substitute Teaching"--there's a page link for it on the right of the blog. :)

The power of a quiet day

Yesterday I was feeling a little off, like I might be coming down with something.  After the kids went to school, I did some cleaning while I felt up to it (mopping, laundry, porch sweeping) and then I took it easy.  The calendar was completely blank for the day (rare!) so I relaxed, drank a lot of fluids, had soup for lunch, and took a nap.  By the time I had to go pick up kids, I was feeling better and had enough energy to get us through the rest of the day (turns out there were things to do after all--took Wade to WalMart, helped Rhiannon finish a school project and took her to piano group lesson which we'd forgotten about, and made some 3-ingredient pumpkin cookies for our new neighbors!)  I'm thankful for quiet days that seem to come around right when I need them!  I'm back to normal today and don't feel sick at all!

We've got some fun things to look forward to this weekend:

--a visit from Uncle Matt, Aunt Heather, Sam, and Tyler!!!!!!!!

--Halloween fun on Saturday at a big trunk-or-treat activity!

--first Primary program practice (okay, maybe not so fun, but it'll be good to get through it)

And then on Monday I have my first sub assignment:  a 1st/2nd grade combination class from 9am to 12pm.  I'm looking forward to it and trying not to dwell on the fact that it will be the morning after Halloween!!! :) 

Make up my mind already!

I'm killing a few minutes before I go help an older sister in our ward with some packing.  I'm digging Brant and Chris's blog playlist and have it turned up loud.  It's awesome!

So Friday afternoon I wrapped up the substitute teaching process and registered with the phone system, etc.  I've been really up and down deciding on this, so much so that I've started to laugh at myself now.  I hesitantly got online to check for future jobs and then I was surprised and bummed when there were none, zippo.  I wondered if I needed to lift some of the limitations I'd placed on my assignments (for now I've requested calls from only the kids' school, grades 1-5) and then reminded myself that I wasn't trying this out to make life more hectic and stressful on my family! :)  Just to try something new and maybe make a few bucks! 

So the weekend passed by, with no phone calls.  Wasn't this what I'd wanted, something low-key that wasn't stressful?  Yes, but I was still anxious anyways.  At that point I was hoping I'd be able to at least get enough work to be able to pay off what I'd already put into it for fingerprinting, credential fees, and a TB test!

Then yesterday afternoon the phone rang with an automated message about my first job, a 2-hr stay in a second grade class at the kids' school.  Perfect!!!!!!!!!!  Then this morning at 7:45 the phone rang again, this time it was a real person asking if I could take a job today.  What time, I asked?  As soon as you can get there!, she said, at Las Flores!  I looked at myself, barely out of the shower, and at the kids, who were finishing up breakfast and didn't have to go to school for another hour or so...just as I was going to politely say that I was only taking jobs at my kids' school for now, she said, Oh, never mind, it just got picked up.  I thanked her for the phone call and patted myself on the back for making up my mind and making a choice!

Just call me Wishy Washy!  I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy subbing, if I can just have a positive attitude, have fun, and remember that I'm the one making the choice!